A burglar decided to rob the safe in a store.

On the safe door, he was very pleased to find a note reading: “Please don’t use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob.”

He did so. Instantly, a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging.

As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning: “My confidence in human nature has been rudely shaken.”

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A burglar was sneaking into a museum, and he had to get past the guard on duty.

As he snuck behind the guard, he couldn’t help but notice the guard had his head in his hands, and he was crying.

“I can’t believe I’ve worked here for 10 years, and everyone has forgotten my birthday again!” He moaned. “Longer hours, more work, and no appreciation! I can’t do this anymore!” The guard said to himself as he continued to sob.

The burglar could easily sneak past, but found himself feeling bad for the guard. Instead of proceeding with his plan, the burglar’s sympathy for the guard got the better of him.

He marched right down to the museum curator’s office and kicked in the door. There sat the director of the museum, the head of HR, and the head of security in a meeting.

“What are you doing here? How did you get pass the guard?!?” shouted the museum director.

“Gentlemen,” said the burglar, “I’m afraid you’ve let your guard down.”