At night, someone knocks on the door.
Mary wakes up and asks, “Bob, is that you?”
Silence. She returns to bed. Again, a knock.
“Bob, don’t make me nervous. Is that you?”
Silence. She waits a while, then returns to bed. Again, a knock. She opens the door to find her drunken husband, Bob, standing there.
“You moron! I was asking if it was you, why weren’t you answering???”
“I was nodding to you!!!”

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A beggar knocked on the door of a house.
“What do you want?” said the owner.
“Can you spare some money to help a poor person?” said the beggar.
But as soon he was given a few coins and told to go on his way, the beggar complained, “Your son gave me twice as much when I called here last week.”
“Well, my son can afford to,” said the owner, “he has a very rich father.”
