Jay is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat.
While Jay is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jay was keeping the lug nuts. The nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain.
Jay is at a loss for what to do and is about to go call a cab when he hears a shout from behind the hospital fence, where one of the inmates has been watching the whole thing.
“Hey! Why don’t you just take one lug nut off each of the other three wheels? That’ll hold your tires on until you can get to a garage or something.”
Jay is startled by the patient’s seeming rationality, but realizes the plan will work, and installs the spare tire without incident.
Before he leaves, he calls back to the patient. “You know, that was pretty sharp thinking. Why do they have you in there?”
The patient smiles and says, “I’m in here because I’m crazy, not because I’m stupid.”
============================================
One day a truck driver was driving down a highway when he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a blonde in a little blue car tailgating him.
Well, this truck driver hated to be tailgated, so he stops his truck and walks over to the car, which had also stopped and said, “Hey, lady, if you don`t stop tailgating me, I`m going to bust up your car.”
So he gets back in truck and drives away.
A little while later he looks in his rearview mirror, and sees the blonde tailgating him again. So he stops his truck, gets out, and walks over to the car, saying, “Hey lady, stop tailgating me, or I`ll bust up your car.”
So he gets back in his truck and drives away.
A little while later he again looks in his rearview mirror, and once again the blonde is tailgating him. So he stops his truck, walks over to the car, and says, “Lady, get out.”
So the blonde steps out of her car, and the truck driver draws a circle on the roadside, saying, “Now don`t step out of that circle.”
Then he proceeds to bust up the blonde`s car. Smashing the windshields and windows. And the blonde starts laughing.
The truck driver rips out the seats, and busts all the tires. And the blonde keeps laughing.
He takes a sledge hammer from his truck, and pounds in the frame, rips out the steering wheel, cuts the brake lines, etc, until the car is completely totaled. And the blonde is still laughing.
The truck driver walks over to the blonde, and says, “Lady, I just completely totaled your car, and you`re still laughing. What is so funny?????”
The blonde replies, giggling, “I stepped out the circle and you didn`t see me!!!!!!!!”